Let it be

"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, 

speaking words of wisdom, let it be."

My second year in degree. The older I get, the less I care(?), or I just do not show it anymore? Experience tells me that care is a wasteful emotion, that is returned with mere disregard and smirk, which often ends in disappointment. So I learnt to put on a poker face and live on. Thinking back the days when I was such a cry baby at school, I feel so stupid. I even risked a friendship that meant so much to me just because I "cared" about what my peers thought of me. I lost sight of what is important and what is worthless. So, yeah. I do not live to please everyone nor to be anyone's clown.

I appreciate my uni-friends a lot, but lately, I think I need some time to sort things out, find a space of my own, I just needed a break. I know there are many types of friends, listeners, trouble-makers, attention seekers, opportunists, companion, soul-mates, party animal, and so on. I can never blame someone for being who he or she is. Friendship is about acceptance, if not, it would not have exist at all. Nevertheless, all I can say is, I am just not the type that sticks with the same gang all the time. I dislike the fact of being tied down to one person, that is, unless I love him/her so very much. I mix with gangs of all age, race and gender. These days, I have been so caught up with workload, tests and dilemmas, that sometimes, I would prefer to be alone in my room, and muse. Socializing is no longer my kind of thing, there are times when I wish that every passer-by does not know me, that I would not need to care of what I wear when I walk around campus and just be invisible to everyone(which is impossible due to my size). But yeah, no matter what you do, how unpopular you are, people still pin-point, they need something to talk about. Hence, the less you care, the happier you are. The amount of gossips is directly proportional to the degree of how much you care(?). It is not going to decrease as you care more, but you are only going to make things worse.

So, just let things flow, let it be, do not shine too much light on yourself, stop caring, eventually people will get tired as they see no response from you no matter how hard they try to crush you, they see no fun it in, and yeah, they will stop talking. Be strong. People are going to judge you, but it is your attitude that decides whether they are right. There are 7 billion people in this world, do not let one person ruin your day. Smile and live everyday and you will see the world in a total different kind of positive way.

I will come out and meet with my friends again, someday, when I am ready. For now, just let me be.

"There will be an answer. Let it be."

Listen to this link. [Glee-Let it be]