All or nothing

I must admit it, 2013 is like the shortest year in my life! Well, I know I've mention before that this ain't gonna be a personal blog, but whatever, it's New Year's Eve and I'm gonna do what everyone's doing lately, #ThrowingBack!

1. Started off this year with a celebration with Janice, Jingwen and Chunhaur. Well I guess not everything lasts, cause now Janice and Chunhaur who used to be couples back then, are back to being friends again. In which, proves my point in this post. At least it has not turned to hatred, so, yeah, everything's still fine. It was an awesome night with nice food, snacks, music, some dancing, and yes, counting down together, screaming under the lamp post in V6 Oval Park's lake, that's what we did last year. Though I'm about to spend my new year's eve alone tonight, it's okay. I'm proud of what I did tonight, I've brought up my courage and apologized to as many people as I could, before it was too late. After all, it's time to start anew, time to forgive, and to cherish what you still have, this year, cause you wouldn't know when's the last goodbye you're going to bid to someone you appreciate dearly. Life's gonna throw a grenade at you any time. (Too emo, let's move on!)

2. Joined MAS for the first time in my university life. I have applied, like, 3 times for this, can you believe this? And finally, I joined it! No regrets at all, the facilitators of this batch made me feel so welcome and happy throughout this period and indeed, they were my new found "family" in UTP. We were all working together regardless of what our position was, there was no telling or ordering around just cause "my position is higher than you". They were all friendly and sincere to me. It was the best event I've ever joined and I cherish every moment of it. And yesh! I made so many new friends among the juniors. Seriously, I thought I lost the bond with juniors ever since I came here, cause we didn't seem to click. Little did I know, the magic was still there, especially with my closest ones, Jiayi, Cindy, Charissa and Agnes. They all mean so much to me, and now that this year is coming to an end, they're entering degree soon! I guess time really flies huh. :'( They're growing up and I'm getting older. It'd be great if they could attend my graduation ceremony in 2years' time. Love them so much. "Age doesn't matter when it comes to friendship.", that was the quotation that I came out randomly when Jiayi asked for my suggestion for her new InstaQuote photo that time. Truth be told. :)

3. Soon after my 4 months break of doing nothing at home, it was time to start a new semester! As I bid goodbye to my awesome roommate, Jiazhen on January, another awesome person A.K.A Cindy, became my roommate in May! We bonded real quick and could share almost everything in the room, gossips, thoughts, etc. But she just got into a relationship lately, which I hope, would not affect our friendship much? :/

4. Tada. They're my buddies! Have you ever heard of the legend of 3J's? That's us! Having our photoshoot sessions as usual in the common room, gossiping about people, talking about boys and hanging out. Sometimes we do find each other annoying, well, most of the time, and we argue, ALOT, but still we're inseparable, and I hope this continues til our final year? *fingers crossed* Glad to have them in my life as well. :)

5. Red Sonata Fiesta 2013! It was my first time of becoming a HOD, and it was truly an honor for me and my department to receive enormous good feedback from the audience regarding the videos we made. The experience was hell, as I can barely remember the amount of hours I got to rest during that period, we were so hectic, trying our best to meet the deadlines and the hardest part? To compile a closing montage on time without faults! Which was one of the biggest success we had on that night! Definitely a night to remember. And I'm grateful that Chunhoe didn't hold a grudge against me for taking away his position, as well as his effort to come back during his 4 months break to assist me to make this event a success. P/S: We even got praised by DVC for our amazing effort, he even thought that our PD seeked for outsiders to help make the awesome videos!

6. Visited Kampar again after a year since I went there during foundation for a friendly match with UTAR. Yeeling was my driver and we had really awesome time there! One thing about Kampar is that they have so much nice food! From what I recall, I think we had at least 4 meals per day while we stayed there. It was so nice that we even had to visit it 3 times in just one semester. :P Here's the beautiful lake, (I don't remember whether it's the East or West Lake) but the scenery there was just breath-taking! Yeeling even said that it looked like China there. Here's some photos of us camwhoring.

7. Got tricked on my birthday, yet it was the most pleasant surprise! I still remember on that day, I wanted to buy a birthday cake for myself while shopping for steamboat ingredients, but I forgotten to do so, so I asked my roommate and her friends to buy it for me. But they broke my heart that day and told me that they forgotten bout it as well. I was so sad for at least 2 hours that day, eating while complaining how imperfect my day would be without a birthday cake. And soon enough, my roommate came with this box of cakes to make my day! :D Never will I forget her mischievous face that night. Pfft. How dare she lie to me! But the cake was so delicious that I had to just forgive her. Hehehe.

8. The most interesting and one of my best subjects in UTP! Professional Communications Skills A.K.A PCS. We all feel thankful to get such a skillful lecturer as Miss Azelin. I personally do not think that anyone would ever be as good a teacher as her. Moreover, she's really tall, pretty and stylish too! And the way she carries herself, it just makes this subject so much more interesting. Okay, this is embarrassing, but, this is the only subject whereby I  never missed a single lecture from. So now you can see how much I loved this subject. I used to think that my presentations skills were great, but it was because of the communication skills that were still unknown to me at that time. I sure did polish up alot of my flaws through this course and developed my interest in doing presentations. By the way, most of the student in this class were final year students, sure had lots of funny moments from them too, and they taught us alot as well. Awesome seniors.

9. Another great event this year, UTP Colours of Ranggoli Night A.K.A UCRN! Had a great night chatting with Janice, Hesham and Tanxiv in McDonalds. Me and Tanxiv, we started out rough this year due to our argument bout Malaysian politics earlier, but I'm just glad that we could still be friends and put down whatever happened before. He's a really nice and cool guy to hang out with. Now he's like my second closest IS guy friend, besides Hesham, who is my no.1. :P

10. Convofair, an event where seniors come back to UTP to receive what they've been working for over the years, a certificate of recognition, for completing their studies in UTP, as a degree holder in either engineering, geoscience, ICT or business. This is the very first photo I took with all my seniors from 2010 batch. Had a great time with them too. I was glad that Yeeling could find time to come back and visit UTP for the weekend. Shortly after that, I went to visit her home in Kedah too for a few days. :)





11. Our beloved HTD tutor, Mr.Suhaib has finished his Masters here in UTP and we were having a small gathering before he left Malaysia for a few weeks before returning here again for PHD. Great times. :)







12. My lab mates for Unit Operation Lab I. I'm so thankful to have them to go through the ups and downs of this semester, it was hectic, but because of them, I survived it. Though the last presentation didn't go well, we did our best and that's good enough for us. :)






13. See my cute friend over here? That's her overjoyed face when I won her a cute prize from SEDEX! :P Glad that we finally had time to spend with each other after she was done with her events and stuffs.







14. The tradition continues. We've been spending our Christmas together each year ever since we came to UTP. Visited an orphanage and we had an unforgettable time making christmas cards, caroling, and spreading joy to the kids. :) Thank you, Anne, for always making my Christmases so meaningful. <3 nbsp="" p="">




15. The VERY small version of me! Kexin! :D I'm so happy that I found her in my uni life, she's like smiling all the time, the little sunshine sister of mine, hehe, we're different in many ways, but we are also similiar in ways that you do not know as well! Hope she stays happy and continue being there in my life for many years to come. Love her so much! Cute! :D

16. Oh, I almost forgot, during my 4 months break I had a meet up with Tzee Yee on Chinese New Year, by that time, we haven't seen each other for more than 2 years already! :( We played cards, had barbeque, talked and talked and talked for hours, and camwhored so much that night, these are just few selected photos from the bunch. ;) True friends are meant to stay with you no matter what, and she's indeed one of my closest friends since high school. Starting from this year, our friendship has reached 8 years old! But she's leaving to England soon this year for her degree studies, I'm gonna miss her so much. :'( All these years, she never failed to make me laugh everytime we chat, she's like the person that I trust the most. :'( Well, growing up is part of life, and I gotta let her go after her dreams, I'm sure we would survive another long distance friendship! :') All the best to you, froggie.

17. Had a meet up session with these beloved juniors of mine during the break too! All we did everytime we meet was just crapping, window shopping, having meals together. It's nothing much, but they mean a lot to me too! The moment that I enjoyed the most was staying back at Mingchyi's house and eating together with his family, we even stayed til midnight to catch a Japanese anime together. This is just us, simple and real. I even remember the time when I needed to wake Mingchyi up, I even took a bus to the bus stop in front of SanYuk and walked all the way to his house, cause he couldn't even move his ass to pick up the 20 missed calls that me and Xinkai dialed! LOL. Lazy bum. Been friends with them for almost 5years now. :)

18. Last but not least, here comes the most important person in my life! Dachungaga! *cough* *joking*. Anyway, he was complaining bout me not putting our photos in this blog post. And guess what? We didn't even have a decent photo this year, that's why there was none! =.= Here's a proof, you see there? When I requested for us to take a photo, what does he do? He avoids the camera. =.= And that's like the only photo we had throughout the year. The photo on the right is the result of me cropping our everybody else out. =.= Lame right. Erhem, what I wanna say is, thanks for being my driver, used-er (you know what is this), listener, singer, punching bag, and the only old friend I have here in UTP. It's great to know that I can always turn to you no matter what happens, no matter how harsh I scolded you, whatever happens between us, we can still laugh and tease each other all over again. I feel comfortable whenever I'm with you cause I don't need to pretend to be someone I'm not. Undeniably, you're the one who knows most of my darkest secrets, (which is why I'm going to kill you one day). :P Thank you for always being there for me and I hope we'll still be friends in the future. #youwinliao

Now, that pretty much wraps up my life in 2013! :D Quotation from the title's lyrics:

"This is my life, I'm not gonna live it twice, 

gonna touch the sun, show everyone, that it's all or nothing."

Live life to the fullest! Do not waste any moment of it! I have a good feeling that 2014 is going to be awesome. Adieu 2013! You've been amazing! Happy new year everyone! :D

Listen to this. [Glee - All or Nothing]

Battlefield

"What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield."

Don't you just feel sad when a relationship doesn't go the way you hoped it would? Friendship and love, these are the things that break our heart the most. Here's how it goes, we start off as strangers, set our first impressions, started hanging out, sharing thoughts, and some, common interest, but as time goes by, we enter the comfort zone, the part where both parties feel comfortable with each other's presence, without having to conceal all your bad habits as there is nothing left to hide, however slowly, we stop trying to impress each other, for good cases, this is due to mutual understanding, for the bad side, it's because there's no reason to keep on trying, and therefore, we're headed to where we started, strangers again. That's just how life works, every relationship is a gamble, you won't know how long will it last, but you just go for it, because at some point, your heart told you that he or she is the one. The things at stake is your time, your feelings and your effort. Those who win, will gain happiness; those who don't, get their hearts broken. 

"Peace will come when one of us puts down the guns."

When you know someone's important to you, you'd know that the point, is not winning an argument, but to not lose a valuable relationship. I always held on to this theory that if there's a fight, undeniably both parties must have done something wrong, it's never a one-sided fault. The only way to resolve it is only by either one to first give in, for the sake of peace. Think of it this way, one day, you're in an argument with your best buddy or lover, over what? Because he or she said something bad unintentionally, and one of you is too head strong to forgive, the other is refusing to apologize, and what now? A friendship, built for years, ends with just a fight. Is it worth it? All those happy memories, ruined, because of one unhappy, insignificant memory, that you'd soon regard as foolish when you reminisce on your good memories, crying over the stupid fight that you shouldn't have even started, and I bet you won't even remember what was the reason that you were fighting over.

"It's easy to fall in love, but it's so hard to break somebody's heart."

No matter how many times your loved ones have wronged you, you can forgive them over and over again; but it takes a whole lot of massive mistakes for your heart to really break, for you to finally let go and give up of someone that you held dearly for years. So don't, don't ever make that mistake, for that heart, can never be patched up again. It's hard enough to find someone who knows your soul, out of these 7 billion people in the world, is it worth your trouble, to seek all over again for this someone whom no one can ever replace in a million years? 

This is not a battlefield, we have nothing to gain from winning the fight. 

Have you won yourself a friendship or love that is worth a lifetime so far? I know I have my two best buddies to count on, Tzee Yee and Chun Hoe. As for Mr.Right, let's wait and see. (:

Listen to this. [Lea Michele - Battlefield]

Born this way

"My mamma told me when I was young, we are all born Superstars."

There are times in life, when it calls you to be your true self and just be fearless, yes there is, when you're in your own hostel room, in front of your roommate, otherwise, do not do it in public. Cause everyone will judge you. Live with that same kind of bullshit mindset that everyone has, in the end, you will find that you have never enjoyed your life at all, trust me, you do NOT want that kind of life for yourselves. 

See, Lady Gaga dared to be different, did not give a fuck to what people say, turned out to be this century's diva. Successful people like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs are the examples of college dropouts that are, currently the most famous billionaires of this world. Now, how many of you could actually survive a day without Windows, Facebook nor Microsoft? Here is the answer, none of you, college students. 

But of course, I am not encouraging any of you to neglect your studies, thing is, it is to the utmost importance that you be "innovative" at times. Just because the society tells you that 1+1 equals to 2 or that if you do not attend college after high school, you are doomed to be part of society's useless bunch of people. I, will tell you, what useless people are actually defined as, those who have the chance to get education, enough to eat and have enough sleep but could not care less to make an effort using the advantages they have to make their lives more meaningful, focusing on things that are not relevant nor real. These people, are useless, unless they change. Dare to dream, if you have a talent, work on it, do not suppress it, let it show. If not, do not fret, you will find it soon. Skills are developed, not inherited. I strongly believe that if anyone worked hard enough, someone could even come out with a theory that the sun actually rises from the west, not east(?). Well, someone even said that humans evolved from monkeys, and half of this globe agrees with him. Given sufficient research and points to support your theory, why not? *shrugs*

God did not make any one of us for no reason, He has plans for everyone, but not everyone could take up the challenge that He has set for us. In a nutshell, follow your heart, it can never go wrong. OR you can just ignore whatever bullshit I have typed up there. Haha. Kthxbye.

"Don't be a drag, just be a queen."

Listen to this. [Glee-Born this Way]

Let it be

"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, 

speaking words of wisdom, let it be."

My second year in degree. The older I get, the less I care(?), or I just do not show it anymore? Experience tells me that care is a wasteful emotion, that is returned with mere disregard and smirk, which often ends in disappointment. So I learnt to put on a poker face and live on. Thinking back the days when I was such a cry baby at school, I feel so stupid. I even risked a friendship that meant so much to me just because I "cared" about what my peers thought of me. I lost sight of what is important and what is worthless. So, yeah. I do not live to please everyone nor to be anyone's clown.

I appreciate my uni-friends a lot, but lately, I think I need some time to sort things out, find a space of my own, I just needed a break. I know there are many types of friends, listeners, trouble-makers, attention seekers, opportunists, companion, soul-mates, party animal, and so on. I can never blame someone for being who he or she is. Friendship is about acceptance, if not, it would not have exist at all. Nevertheless, all I can say is, I am just not the type that sticks with the same gang all the time. I dislike the fact of being tied down to one person, that is, unless I love him/her so very much. I mix with gangs of all age, race and gender. These days, I have been so caught up with workload, tests and dilemmas, that sometimes, I would prefer to be alone in my room, and muse. Socializing is no longer my kind of thing, there are times when I wish that every passer-by does not know me, that I would not need to care of what I wear when I walk around campus and just be invisible to everyone(which is impossible due to my size). But yeah, no matter what you do, how unpopular you are, people still pin-point, they need something to talk about. Hence, the less you care, the happier you are. The amount of gossips is directly proportional to the degree of how much you care(?). It is not going to decrease as you care more, but you are only going to make things worse.

So, just let things flow, let it be, do not shine too much light on yourself, stop caring, eventually people will get tired as they see no response from you no matter how hard they try to crush you, they see no fun it in, and yeah, they will stop talking. Be strong. People are going to judge you, but it is your attitude that decides whether they are right. There are 7 billion people in this world, do not let one person ruin your day. Smile and live everyday and you will see the world in a total different kind of positive way.

I will come out and meet with my friends again, someday, when I am ready. For now, just let me be.

"There will be an answer. Let it be."

Listen to this link. [Glee-Let it be]

New beginning

"Another year you made a promise, another chance to turn it all around."

As the new year approaches, (yes, it is the end of November already, hence Christmas is near, and hence, the New Year), I shall start anew as well. First of all, this blog is not meant to be written based on personal experience, whatsoever, so do NOT call me a hypocrite when the things that I wrote here are not what I am in real life. You know, it is always easier to tell people what is the right thing to do rather than really doing it yourself. Nevertheless, do not take what I write here as the Gospel truth, these things are subject to change, these are solely my random muse. Everything that is going to jotted down here are my mere feelings and thoughts at the moment, based on all my favorite music in Glee (Yes, I am a Glee fan, get over it), and nothing else.

As the title implies itself, I shall stick to its meaning, that is, a new starting line. When Cory Monteith passed away, Lea Michelle moved on; people come people go, it is all just the way life is, I too, must move on and shall not let my past bring me down. My second year in degree is about to end, shall start over, and perhaps, turn over a new leaf and start growing up. Hopefully I would survive my coming remaining year as a junior here and smoothly land myself an internship placement in a company(God knows what he has planned for me) and continue to grow up there.

We only got 525,600 minutes in a year, so do as much charity as you can, smile as often as possible and more actions, less talking. So, to stop crapping, hey, you there, yes you, whoever you are, that I might meet in the future, friend or lover, ally or enemy, treat me well and I will do the likewise.

"And I, would give the world to you."

Listen to this link. [Glee-This is the New Year]